I'm Such A Failure!

Yesterday was my brother's birthday.

I ate so well all day. Well, at least I was on track. I was just going to eat a pizza with some salad and go off to my room. No wahala.

But my dad decided he wanted to turn my bedroom upside to find some library books. And I didn't wanna go downstairs while he was cleaning so I took another pizza. And another. And then I had some cheese sticks which I did not even like. And I had another pizza. I ripped a few pizzas and gave the other sides to my sister. And then when all the pizza was done, I had Veggie Chips and then I had another Veggie Chips. And then I had cereal. First Honey Nut, then Multigrain Honey Nut, then Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And then I couldn't eat anymore.

I felt really bad. But not as bad as I did on Monday. But that's another story that will never be told.

I'm going to make a weight loss journal and just write down everything in there. I really like using Tumblr but sometimes, I can't get on the computer. And sometimes, I'm just downright bored with Tumblr. After awhile, you get tired of seeing pictures of the same bikini-clad bodies circulating around. And the same graphics and the same tips and the same motivation.

It's like I know what to do, I just need to do it.  So I'm going to try this weight loss journal. I'm going make the first entry on Sunday. But I'm going to continue to try my best and eat 1400 calories or less. But I'm striving for 1200-1300 calories. I'm going to have a program to break my eating habits. So it will be like this:

Week 1: Eat 1200-1300 calories.

This would help me control my binge tendencies once I'm able to do it for a whole week. And if I fail to do it, I have to keep doing it every week until I accomplish it. I don't know if it should be for an actual week like Sunday to Saturday but I think I'll just make it to seven days. Once I accomplish that, I go on to the next challenge.

Week 2: Drink 3 bottles of water each day.

This would help me to drink more because I know I'm slacking in the liquid department. My skin shows it. And my lips are always dry by the end of the day. The only problem I have is that I have to pee so much. And I hate having to raise my hand just to go across the classroom and out the door to pee. But I'm gonna do it anyway.

Week 3: Do 500 jumping jacks each day.

This would help me start getting into the habit of exercising. I'm so lazy with exercise so I need this.

Week 4: Go to the gym for at least three days out of the week.

I want to start going to the gym so yeah...

I can't think of any other challenges. But at the end of the journal, I should be at least 120 pounds. But that means I need to get my hands on an empty journal. :/ Does that sound effective to you?

And the things that I would write in the journal:

• Food Intake
• Progress Entries
• Pictures of my body
• Thinspo/Motivation

So I'm going to start creating that and yeah...