Today, I just felt like everyone hated me and I did something wrong to everyone. Okay, maybe not everyone but to the people around me. My friend who finally told her crush that she had a crush on him wasn't talking to me. It began yesterday, and I thought she was just tired and things would be fine tomorrow. I see her today and I'm like, "Hey Naadira!" and she looks at me and keeps walking. I was shocked. She has never done that to me before. She didn't come to lunch (I have no idea where she went) and I didn't see her for the rest of the day. Notice I'm using real names because I don't care anymore.
I felt bad as if I did something to her. Actually, scratch that. I didn't really feel bad. Just shocked and confused. Today, I felt a lot of negative feelings from people and that's when I realized that if that's how it's gonna be, then I don't need to be friends with any of these people. I just want to know what I did wrong. Seriously, if that's what it comes down to, just having a few not-so-close friends, then that's okay. I don't need any of that.
My other friend who was all moody and cold towards me started speaking to be this evening. She called me and I was considering ignoring her but I decided to answer. And she acted like everything was normal and started asking for favors. I said sure. And I think I only said that because I felt that I owed it to her though I'm not sure why or for what. So she's texting me like normal now and I'm a bit annoyed though I'm acting like I'm not.
Seriously, the only friend I truly like right now is a girl named Janece. (Oh and a few other people). She's funny and chill and just seems to understand that you shouldn't osmosize your own feelings to other people. Lol. Osmosize. You know what I mean.
I also met a cool girl today who has good taste in music. We're Spanish oral presentation partners and I'm so glad I got stuck with her.
My kidneys are in pain from all the water I chugged in the last few hours. Ugh. Kidney failure is in my future.
I had a lot of things to say but I'm drawing a blank. The other thing was, I found out that I got a 91 on my English mid-term. Can you say miracles exist? Because I say they do. My essay was complete trash. I'm telling you from the pit of my heart and mind. I totally believed that essay was bull. I started it in class and barely got to the third paragraph (out of four) because I had no idea what I was writing about anymore.
I came after school and started it all over again. And I quickly rushed through it because I didn't want to be in that room longer than I had to. I turned it in and didn't look back. I wrote choppy sentences with elementary analysis. I guess that's what my teacher likes. That, along with the comment by Computer Graphics teacher made yesterday, made me realize that in order to do well in my creative classes, I really should just stop trying hard.
Colleges have started mailing me now. And that made me happy. I was getting worried.
Okay, so that last thing I realized today was that I am a TOTAL BOSS. I can't even. So I totally forgot that I had a Spanish test today on preterite forms of verbs or whatever. Dude, I had no idea how to conjugate verbs in past tense. I don't know what's going on with me but my skills in Spanish have deteriorated. Anyway, I think I totally passed that quiz anyway.
In Calculus, my teacher did a surprise homework check and I happened to have not done ANY of my Calc homework except half of one problem. Since my teacher voluntarily does a few homework problems that the students ask in the beginning of the class, I just wrote those down and wrote fake stuff for the rest of the problems. And I got my 100% for the day. I'm a boss, you guys.
So I shall leave now and finish my Calc homework and that will be it for the night.
Peace & Rejection
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