Perks and Boys.

Okay, so I'm just gonna go on a short rant while I wait for my tea to boil. Actually, it's boiling already. But this was on my mind so I shall let it out.

So recently, I've been realizing that all my friends have been having these boy issues (whether you can call them issues or not, idk) and I'm just there. I feel like a lot of girls have that one or two boys they really like and have this ultimate crush and they wanna go talk to them and go out with them and blah blah blah. It's crazy. It's funny how normal and insane it is.

I mean, I'm heterosexual, hormonal, teenage girl. I like boys... a lot. But I haven't had that one ultimate crush since I was in middle school or maybe elementary school. I mean, there's a bunch of guys that I think are cute. There may be that one dude you have in that one class that you ogle at to keep yourself entertained. And that's just what it is for me. Okay, I'm lying. Remember Kevin, the senior emo dude from freshman year. That was probably my last ultimate crush.

But after that, or maybe just last year, it's been pretty dry. I fall for dudes pretty easily. As long as you're nice. It's funny, I don't even wanna go out with anyone. Whenever I think a dude is cute, it's not like I wanna go out with you or anything. I just wanna kiss you. Is that the same for everyone else? Because it doesn't seem like it for my friends. They wanna get into a relationship and blah blah blah and kiss, of course. But that's all I want. The kissing part. Maybe once or something. And then it's on to another boy. If I was actually pretty, I'd be a whore for definite.

Speaking of whore, I'd contemplating on prostituting for an A in Calculus. Or at least a C.

Back on to what I was saying. Well, what I was trying to say was that I guess there's a new ultimate crush for me and I'm gonna call him Aaron because I think he looks like that dude from Mean Girls. The hot one. I'm kinda blind so maybe he doesn't actually look like him. But I think he does from what I can see. He's tall and thin and dresses his nice. And his hair is perfect. He's smart to some degree because he's on my bus and I ride the Science and Tech bus.

The problem is, I never see him around a whole bunch of girls. And it's probably due to the fact that I don't see him all the time. But when I do, he's on his own. I think he may be the shy type. But still. If he's as cute as I think he is, girls would be falling for him for sure. And I can't even tell whether I should be happy about this or not. Maybe he's not as cute as I think he is. Maybe it shouldn't even matter.

Today, I kept staring at the back of his head. And he turned around a few times and I think he caught my eye. I'm telling you. I'm so blind. I'm not sure. And I bet he thinks I'm a weirdo because of it. So now I need to be a bit more discrete. Except I don't want to be. I wanna talk to him though I'm not sure how. I think he takes Calculus so maybe when I fail another test, I can be like, "Oh. You take Calculus.\? Are you a total failure like I am? No? Could you maybe tutor me at my house? You don't have to bring books or anything. We can just play and make out and stuff in my bedroom."

Yeah. I'm a freakin' weirdo.

My friend is being dumb. Or maybe she's not. I don't know. I don't wanna talk to her anymore. Or at least I don't wanna talk to her for awhile.

And I finally read the Perks of Being a Wallflower and it was AMAZING.

Time for tea!