Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Today Was Not A Good Day.

I just feel uglier than usual. Fatter than usual. I feel like a stupid idiot. All my insecurities just seem to be so... I don't know. I feel really bad about myself.

I don't even know how to explain why I'm feeling so depressed. I'm not going to try because I'm just gonna sound stupid and petty.

I missed yesterday's drawing challenge and I'm probably gonna miss today's one too. I'm so disorientated. I don't wanna go to school tomorrow but at the same time, I do. I don't actually mind going to school. I just wish I had someone I was comfortable with. Someone I could hang out with and talk to and not have to think about my insecurities. I feel like I don't have that right now. Maybe that's why I feel so bad.

I miss some of my friends from my old school. They aren't the same here like they were back there. I miss having my "girlfriend" and my "wife" and my "father" and my best Spanish friends and my best African friends and all those other people. Even though I felt kind of lonely back then, I feel like it's not to the degree it is now.

I kind of want to cry now.

It doesn't help that I failed my Chemistry final. The final that I thought was easy. The one that I expected no lower than an A on. Ugh. God.

I sound so stupid.

I just want one close best friend who doesn't mind when I stutter and makes me laugh and say funny things.

UGHASR;GNSFIFGJS;R

I hate everyone.

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