So why am I reiterating my infinite like for this crush, once again?
Well, maybe it's because my crush is not as amazing as my heart makes him out to be.
So the candy grams were sent out today and I'm not sure if he got it or not. But I feel as if he did. The thing is, I don't know what period he got the candy gram but if I had to make my most educated guess, he got it 8th period.
And I was walking with my friend to my locker as I usually do and we were laughing and giggling as girly friends usually do. And then as we were doing, my ultimate crush walked up the stairs and I unintentionally made awkward eye contact. If I saw correctly, he had a slight smirk on his face, but I can't say for sure. I feel like I was really smooth about it though because my other friend was right at the hallway I was turning to so I maneuvered my head away from his, straight to my friend's and began talking to her as he proceeded to his own locker.
I feel like that awkward eye contact was due to the fact that he just got my quirky candy gram and had a hunch that it was me that had sent it. I feel so unsure about everything.
I was about to stay after school but I decided against it to see if I can interpret any reaction from him. I sat a seat away from his as I usually do, another obvious indicator that I like him, if he hasn't noticed. But my view was heeded because a girl sat next to me and my bus driver is riding a new bus with taller seats. I didn't really want to look at him for some reason because suddenly, I was annoyed with him. Although I'm not sure why.
Outside, the weather was extremely foggy. People don't really like this type of weather. I'm not sure I can say that the same. I liked that it was different from the typical clouds or sunshine. The darkness and fogginess of the sky made the hallways of our school darker and off-looking. I think I like the different-ness.
This is an important fact because once I came home, I checked his Twitter and he sent a tweet that went like this: "Some shitty ass winter weather". Okay, so yeah, the weather could be considered by some as "shitty ass". But when I read this, I had a revelation.
All his tweets are like this. Well, at least in structure and vocabulary choice. He tweets as if he's an indifferent black wannabe. He isn't as deep as I would want a guy to be. He lacks color and uniqueness. I mean, judging from his tweets, that's how he presents himself to be. You'll probably think I'm a creep but I'll proceed anyway. Most of his tweets are about sports. And the ones that are not about sports, are about music (my favorite ones because he has relatively good taste in music). And if they're not about music, they're about his life. And those ones are so dry and laced with ghetto-speak. His more better tweets are just stuff he's found on the internet.
If I ever get to speak to him, I hope his twitter is just a front, and that he's a more meaningful and intellectual being in real life. More funnier and less... ghetto.
My friend had the same problem with her slight crush like a month ago. He was a white cute-y. The problem was, he acted straight up black with his pants sagged and his diction. I'm sure he does drugs as well. My friend said that even though he's really cute, the whole wannabe ghetto thing just takes away from it. I totally agreed. My ultimate crush is not ANYWHERE to that degree, at least I don't think so. And at least not from looking at him. I just hope it's not the same if I ever hear him open his mouth.
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