I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm going crazy.
I spent all of yesterday doing my science fair board only to find out that I totally screwed it up. I had typos. I didn't write in past tense. I have crinkles and wrinkles from the glue I used. And my graphs look screwy to me because I didn't use borders. It makes me cringe when I look at it.
I mean, for a job that was done in one night, I'm okay with it. But I'm not satisfied with it. In terms of design, there's not much I can do now but I printed out some of my stuff over again and I'm going to just paste them over my old ones (if I even have the time) and that'll be the end of my day.
This weekend, I didn't get to do anything that I wanted to do done. I didn't get my CSS profile done. I didn't start or finish any scholarships. I didn't start on a computer graphics project.
And this week, I need to get an outfit for science fair on Wednesday, do my hair, finish a video project scholarship, finish my CSS profile, finish a scholarship, and on top of that, I have to do work for my regular classes. I'm just going crazy. I'm GOING crazy.
I drove on Sunday and totally messed up everything. I didn't drive on the right lane. I almost got hit. I just don't know how I'm gonna learn this driving thing. I don't think I even wanna learn how to drive anymore. It's all just too scary and annoying and stupid.
On the other hand, I do wanna learn how to drive so what happened today wouldn't happen again.
I missed the shuttle at the bust stop near my school that I was gonna take to get home so I rode The Bus with my friend, hoping that by the time I get to the stop at the mall, I would catch the shuttle there. Well, my phone (my stupid stupid phone) had died even though I barely used it throughout the day. So I couldn't even check if the shuttle was arriving or had arrived. I waited at the bus stop in the freezing cold for like 15 minutes just to make sure. I had no money to ride a regular bus so I decided that I would just walk home.
My feet were already in pain from standing a lot because I volunteered to put up seahorses (sawhorses, whatever) and plywood for the science fair on Wednesday. I knew the gym was hot but it was unbearable. At least I got ONE hour of my service hours for NHS!!! I don't know why I was so excited to do it. It was not horrendous or anything but not at all exciting.
Anyway, that happened and there I was in the cold, walking all the way home. I've walked home from the mall before but not in that type of cold. It would've probably been more enjoyable if my feet weren't so sore and if it wasn't so cold... Maybe. It was a 1.2 mile walk, according to Google Maps. It doesn't sound like much but... I think I have reason to complain.
I have this video scholarship due tomorrow and I might just give up on it. I'll see if I can start on something today but I have no idea how I'm gonna do it. Maybe I'll just not come in tomorrow for internship... Or leave early or something. On Friday, I basically stayed for two days since I stayed after until 6:30 PM to print out shiz for my science fair board that I didn't even get to use because I printed them too big ... -_-
My life...
I really should be thankful for everything I have, to be absolutely honest. I am. But I just want to complain sometimes. I just want someone to feel sorry for me and give me chicken noodle soup and let me sleep in for an entire day and watch trashy TV and listen to music and sleep. No worries, no nothing.
Yeah, I really should just go home tomorrow.
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