Cosmopolitan Magazine. Ew.

I accidentally bought the magazine like a month ago after entering this contest on their page. I knew it was gonna come any time now but I tried to take it back. But it didn't work. It's all their fault. They default the button that gets you to try a free subscription of their magazine. But the thing is, after you get the magazine, they'll send you a bill to buy the magazine and stuff. That's when things got scary.

It happened when I got the Seventeen magazine. My dad found out but he was kinda cool with it. He actually forgot about the whole thing and then they stopped sending bills.

That's what I'm gonna do with the Cosmopolitan one. I'm gonna try and hide the bills.

So we had Family Fun Night at church yesterday. Which was really fun. And we went over to my uncle's house we had just went to his church for the dedication of his new baby. Which we were walking out of the church, my dad told me that a movie star was at his house... Jim Iyke.

For all of you guys that don't know him, he's a Nigerian Movie Star. So if you aren't Nigerian or if you don't Nigerian movies, then you most likely won't know him. But if you are Nigerian or if you do watch Nigerian movies, you'd recognize him as the guy who's always telling you about pirated movies in the beginning of the movie.

This is him. ^^

My dad told all of us that he walked into the home while they were there and got pictures of him. Apparently I was the only one who was listening. I told my sister because she's huge on Nigerian movies and I guess, she wasn't paying attention to what I was saying. Those ignorant bastards.

I walked into the house and I didn't even wanna look in his direction. I knew if I did, I would just stare. I hugged my aunts and uncles that were up in the house and went straight for my mom.

I wouldn't have immediately recognized him if my dad hadn't told me. First of all, he was way thinner (but it's probably because he was wearing skinny jeans. If you haven't noticed, guys naturally have skinny legs.) and wore those big personality glasses. He had scruffy beard. And he was pretty chill. Not like how I thought he would be. But not bad at all.

My sister started freaking out. I remained calm actually. But a lot of things were going through my mind like, "What would my friends think about this?" "OMG. Someone I've seen on TV is IN. MY. UNCLE'S HOUSE."

We took pictures. I didn't sit next to him though. I didn't wanna seem like some craze freak like my sister. And naturally, my sister positioned herself right next to him when we took pictures. My dad took a gazillion.

That's how my parents are. They are obsessed with picture-taking.

Okay, now let me explain to you this Cosmopolitan Magazine thing. Well, we came home and I saw my dad handling all this mail in his hands. And I saw the magazine. I didn't wanna seem suspicious and take the magazine right out of his hands. So I played it cool and went to my room first and then went to the kitchen where he was looking at the mail. He left casually. And I went to see if he left the magazine there.

He did.

And right on the cover was Ashley Green wearing an opened white blouse with half of one boob exposed. And the headings around her were saying things like "60 Sex Tips" in big bold letters. In fact. That was the biggest thing on the page besides Cosmopolitan. And "Look Leaner Naked". Couldn't they say something like, "Get Your Body Looking Good"? They inserted something sexually-related in every single heading on that cover. 

What to Do When Your Guy Gets All Quiet

Orgasm Virgins

2 Things That Mess With Your Birth Control

Oh and under 60 Sex Tips was "These Badass Moves Involve a Naughty Twist You'll Both Love"

Ew?

I am so glad my dad didn't see it. Or at least, didn't say anything about it.

So I rushed to my room, ripped the cover off just in case my mom sees the magazine in my room or something. [Queen Latifah was on the back of the cover. I had to apologize to her first.] And then I lied back and flipped through it. Seriously, every other page had to do with guys and pleasing guys. 

Only 24 of the pages out of 172 were dedicated to beauty and fashion. This is INCLUDING fashion and beauty ads. 40 of those pages were about Guys, Sex, Babies, and Relationships. And the pages that weren't about that had some kind of sexual innuendo inserted somewhere. And you know how magazines have ads in the back of the magazine? OMG. This magazine is so messed up.

They look like ads straight out of Craigslist. 

The ads that aren't for psychic or tarot readings are either for buying sex toys/costumes or hooking up with people. I'm so serious. It's all covered in women wearing barely anything on.

The only exception was this ad for contacts.

I seriously think this magazine was made mostly by men or very perverted women. Maybe it's just this edition that I got. But then I've been on their site and let's just say, it's not very different from this magazine. I don't recommend this magazine for anyone 17 and younger. Maybe I'm the one who's in the wrong.

I think Cosmopolitan was made for 20 year old women. A mature version of Seventeen. :l Man... Yeah, I'm just gonna stick with Seventeen magazine.