I Am Devastated.

My prayers have definitely been answered, all right.

My day was going really well too. I just... I'm trying to get my mind off of the whole thing but it's been hard. I'll tell you later after I recap the rest of my day.

I went to bed at around 2 AM last night and woke up at 4 AM to finish my English essay. I finished it at around 5:30 and went to sleep again, only to wake up at 7 AM. I was SO tired. Beyond tired. Usually, once I get up and start walking up the stairs, I'm alert enough to get through my morning routine. But it was torture today and I felt like sleeping the entire day. My energy picked up around 5th period though. 

So the day went by normally. I had to go to the library to print out the essay and so I was late to my first period. Second period, my teacher wasn't here so it was a pretty chill class. I finished the rest of my English SAT vocabulary that was due as homework. And then I was stupid and accidentally left it in my locker when I went to get my other things. In English, we peer-revised our rough drafts but I feel like I didn't get mines back. We also got our old essays back (from October) which I had gotten an A on and I felt on top of the world. 

In World History, we were playing this Jeopardy game to help us review for our midterm. I honestly had no idea what any of the answers were when it was other people's turn. But luckily, and all thanks t God, when it was my turn, I got the answer correct and won a nice applause from the class since we had been losing. 

In Chemistry, the bestest thing everr happened. Everrr. We got our quizzes back from yesterday and guess what? I GOT A FREAKIN' 100%. I have no idea how that happened. Yes, I do actually. It's God. It's all God. Because I went out of the classroom with a grimace on my face because I really didn't think I did that well. I rushed through the quiz because I was running out of time. I wasted a lot of time on the multiple choice questions because I couldn't seem to remember anything. 

But I got the answers correct! Actually, I got one question wrong but I answered the bonus questions correct and earned by 100%. People around me had like 70s and I was struggling to not smile. I was very happy about that. Now let's see how my English BS-ed essay goes. 

Oh, and I found my glasses in that class. :D

Then I went to lunch and I actually enjoyed myself. I sat at my "father's" table for once and he was being really funny and we talked about our old school and he was trying to convince me to follow the family business. We have a bunch of inside jokes. 

I went to Spanish and my teacher wasn't there and the substitute teacher basically gave us the entire answers to the worksheet we were supposed to do so I didn't really do much thinking in that class. 

In Calculus, we had a very chill day. My teacher worked out a few problems and that was that. I wasted my entire night on my Calculus homework because he didn't even check it. I was annoyed. 

I'm writing all this and I feel happy but I'm getting closer and closer to devastation. My heart hurts a little. I'll just tell you so I can get it out and over with. 

I saw my "ultimate crush" kissing a girl as I went down the stairs to leave the school. He did it on purpose. I know he did. He never goes down the back stairwell. And they had this beautiful kiss, her with her hands around his neck and him with his hands on her waist. It was utterly revolting. And then he bolted out. I don't even think he rode the bus. 

I'm going to have to get over it, obviously. And I keep telling myself to accept it. It was God's will, obviously. I mean, remember the solitaire games?! God wanted to keep me from making a fool of myself this whole time.

My heart still pangs when I think of him and then I feel anger. I wish I hadn't liked him in the first place. I was right, he hates me. And you know what, I hate him too.

This is the end of the Ultimate Crush series.