My Barely Healed Wounds Are Being Ripped Open Again.

I feel like I'm going insane and I'm so tired. Just really really tired.

My calculus test turned out to be a bust. I mean, I think I did okay on it but I'm really not sure I did that great. I heard a lot of people complaining about the test before I took the test, but I was like "Nah. I got this." And then I take the test and come out if it with this expression on my face :|

I don't understand what's going on Physics so that's a bit depressing. I've never been good at electricity ever since last year in engineering class.

Boys have been driving me crazy. Specifically one boy. You all know who. I'm such a stupid person. I wish I could just stop thinking about stupid things. I'd rather stress over calculus than this. I have no idea why I have such an attachment to this person. Pretending to hate the person was better than this. I don't think it should be possible nor appropriate for a teenage girl of my age to think of someone like this. God, help me.

It's funny because before, I was wishing that he would like me. Does he like me? Who knows? It doesn't matter anyway since he's going out with someone else. And now, I just wish that I would stop liking him. How in the world could I be thinking of the same 2 second incident for two days now?

Okay other than him. There are guys that me and my friend have been thinking about. Just stupid crushes. If you can even call them crushes. We have funny code names for them. Obviously, you know The Stupid Crush/The Former Ultimate Crush. Since he's no longer The Stupid Crush, I don't really have a name for him at the moment. Then, there's White Boy who's this freshman stalk at the lockers outside of my Spanish class. And there's The Boy That Can Actually Speak English. We dubbed him that after I said thought he couldn't speak English so there's no point in pursuing him. The new one, I'd like to call Snack Line crush. But I haven't told my friend that but I'll inform her of this later.

So that's the light in the darkness of my school days.

Now let's get controversial.

I'm tired of the whole gay/lesbian/blah blah blah controversy that has been SO prevalent in the news these days. I get so awkward when they start talking about it on the news and my dad is around because I feel like he'll just go off out of nowhere so I pretend I don't even hear it even though inside, I'm actually in support of gay rights. I wish the whole thing would work itself out. If I go on, I'll sound stupid but that's just a little twindle of what's going on in my mind at the moment.

My lunch table is planning an Anti-Valentine's Day party and we all have to wear black. And perhaps, black hearts on our fingers. They know about that part but I will inform them of this idea later.

The amount of couples have quadrupled. Almost EVERYONE is a couple. Even the most unlikely person to be in a relationship is in a relationship. It's like everyone has found their perfect match and soul mate and I'm just here like, "I'm pretending to be lesbian because I can't get no love." I mean, I don't want a boyfriend. But I don't want everyone else to have one either.

So I need to start putting my blog on private for reasons pertaining to Computer Graphics. I need to go.

Peace & Black Hearts.