^ I don't really like this kid's attitude but he's cute nevertheless.
I don't even truly want a boyfriend. Just the prospect of having a boyfriend seems ideal. But when I really think about it: Me? Having a boyfriend? Ha. No way. It's too much work. Too much commitment. And I'm not up for that and the eventual heartbreak that comes with it.
But still.
White dudes are hot. And I want one.
I don't even really want a a white boyfriend. I just want a really close white guyfriend that I could flirt with without having to go out with him. And it would also be awesome if he kinda liked me back. But that's where it would stop. That's really all I want.
Guys are cute. All guys are cute. White, Black, Spanish, Oriental, Middle Eastern... they're all sexy in my eyes. But why am I so ugly???
I'm being so superficial right now, but I don't care. I guess it's to cover up how I'm actually feeling right now.
I was just watching this video on YouTube. It was a recording of this man that was in one of the Twin Towers, talking to 911, right before he dies. The man's name is Kevin Cosgrove. He's on the phone with 911 woman and he can hardly breathe. There's a bunch of smoke. And he's going hysterical. He doesn't wanna die, obviously. He's telling her to get the firefighters up to save him as quick as possible. Cursing even. It's all understandable. And the 911 woman is being very patient and quiet.
Kevin mentions having a wife and children. And he's overwhelmed. He doesn't wanna die. He can't breathe. He can't see.
And then the building collapses and all you hear is, "Oh God! Oh-- And then the phone cuts and Kevin is dead.
It really hurts. One minute, you're all full of words and expression. You're alive. And then one exclamation. And then it's quiet. You're dead. It's so sad. He didn't want to die. But he did. I wonder if his wife and kids ever heard that phone call. I would cry for years if it was my own dad or mom. That guy wasn't ready to die. I'm not ready to die either. But it could happen.
One day, it would be all sunshine and smiles. And then destruction happens and I know that in moments, I'm gonna be gone. But I'm not gonna wanna go. I didn't plan to go. Why me? Why now? It's all very said... September 11. The 10th anniversary is in one more day.
In English class, we were discussing our September 11 experiences and all these kids that were my age were raising their hands, talking about how they were in Kindergarten and all this was happening and blah blah blah. But I couldn't even say that. I don't remember. I'm not sure why though. And it bothers me a lot why I don't. I don't remember my teacher saying anything about it. I don't remember watching the news and seeing it. I don't remember everyone freaking out. I really don't.
Isn't that weird? It would've been understandable if I was 3 or 2 or 1 or not even born. But I was 5. I remember lots of things from Kindergarten. But I don't remember September 11. I even remember my first day of Kindergarten which was less than a month from September 11. But I don't remember that day.
That's so weird.
Just befriend some random white Guy that your attracted too, and get to know each other
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