Day 10 - What was the hardest thing you gave up during this "weight loss"?
The hardest thing I gave up was gorging myself. When I eat Honey Bunches of Oats, I like to eat three or four bowls of it, if I'm really in the mood. But I now have to take a medium-sized one bowl amount. And when I'm done, I stare at the cereal box, wanting more but knowing I shouldn't and I don't need it. And then I dump my bowl in the sink and I know I can't go back to it. Really, the hardest part is just right after I finish the cereal and I still want more of the taste in my mouth. But once I set my eyes away and get up, I know I won't go back.
I try to do this with everything I ate. Though today was a total failure. I was really craving some tortilla chips so I ate A LOT. And they were so salty that I honestly felt like I was having high blood pressure or something, laying in my bed, wondering WHY. I didn't binge TOO much today. But I did binge. And I regret it so. I didn't get to work out because I wasted my entire day at school for no reason. I don't wanna go much into it but let's just say, I woke up at 5 am and I didn't actually get my gown fitted. But it's cool. I got out of the house, I guess. :/ Ugh. And it was drizzling too. -_- While I was out, my sister was calling me telling me that my grandma was having severe stomach pains and was saying she was gonna die. And I definitely could not go to the gym then afterwards.
So yeah. I'll go tomorrow and work on my arms or whatever. And then I'll go on Thursday and Friday.
Nothing has been really going according to plan. I planned a movie day but that blew up in my face. It's cool though. My siblings don't disturb it. They have been extremely disrespectful and annoying these past few days so they deserve nothing. Maybe I'll drop them at the library and go to the movies myself. Or maybe I'll buy my own pizza tomorrow and eat in their faces.
I wrote this really late. But it's cool though. I got it in on time and that's all that matters.
A few weird things happened today. I guess I'll just mention them now.
Well, I decided to wear this gray with black striped shirt and these tan skinny jeans that make my legs look really nice. But I resent those pants so much now. I was walking, rushing to the bus stop to meet my friend when this white car came around. The guy in the car rolled his window down and started to talk to me. He said he wanted to talk to me. I was like, "No. I'm good." And he was like, "Aw. You have nice legs though." I made some weird half-laugh half-gag sound but kept looking back to see if he was gonna turn his car around and start following me. I was ready to run. I was scared. I didn't even see the guy's face. All I saw was darkness and heard this sickly pimp voice. Yep. I was beyond scared. I haven't told my parents yet but if I do, they won't ever let me out of the house on my own again.
My friends were even talking about how nice my legs were later on in the day. It has to be the pants. Or maybe all the running I've been doing lately at the gym. :P
So second weird thing is that I saw The Guy's girlfriend at school. I feel like I made awkward eye contact with her at least twice. It's hard to tell when you can't see far away properly. But she glanced in my direction twice today. And I'm not really sure why. I don't know if she thinks of me as that girl who wants her guy. Have I made it obvious? It's not like I didn't though. :P Maybe she has some resentment towards me though I can't really say. I don't really feel that she resents me. She probably just thinks I'm some weirdo, which is cool with me. It'll be interesting if we happen to have a class together next year. Very interesting.
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